There Before You

One of the residents at my block is a true speed demon, but not in the efficient sense.

I take a shuttle bus that commutes to and from the estate and the train station, and for some odd reason, my travel time coincides with hers more often than I would like it to.

When she spots the bus (or the arrival court when aboard), she enters a state of frenzy: “Must alight (or board)!” she repeats internally, is what this demonic act of speed looks like to us normal people.

You have got to realize you still have to wait for the last person to board the bus, even if you were the first to hop in, right?

It can’t be helped, I guess, bitch had to be the first to get on the bus, first to leave it, and she’d happily close the elevator doors on you to slash her arrival time by three seconds; she was there at the initial singularity, and she will be the first to leg it to a neighboring planet minutes before an asteroid collides with our good old rock.